Suteki na Kareshi: "That" Feeling

When I was in 7th grade, around the age of 13, all I wanted was a boyfriend. There were times after school (and sometimes during) were I would turn up my music (on my iPod knock-off, no less) and daydream about going on dates and bonding over mutual interests with a cute boy. I had journal entries and terrible anime drawings about my ideal boyfriend; what his personality was like, how he looked, etc. It was a naive dream, and sometimes I miss being that oblivious to the reality that being in a relationship isn't all sunshine and rainbows. My late teens and early adulthood shattered my perception of having a boyfriend - through a few harsh break-ups and difficult realizations. I realized that having a boyfriend (or any kind of romantic relationship) involves a deep mutual understanding that goes beyond liking the same TV shows and comfort foods. It's more than just going to the movies together every weekend. In reality, being in a relationship means seeing one another for everything that we are; including the uglier or less appealing sides of ourselves, and accepting that. And there are some people that we just cannot accept fully. At least when it comes to being a life-long partner with them, anyways.

I am happily married with a child now, but it's fun to reflect on these innocent (and downright embarassing) times. Reading Suteki na Kareshi (aka A Wonderful Boyfriend) reminded me of all those naive feelings I once had navigating love as a middle/high school student. 

A Girl on a Mission

(Bessatsu Margaret magazine, Feb 2016)

Suteki na Kareshi, written by Kazune Kawahara (known for High School Debut, My Love Story, A Star Brighter Than the Sun), is about a girl entering high school with one goal in mind: get a boyfriend. However, our protagonist and female lead Nonoka has no idea how to talk to boys; let alone ask one out on a date. Nonoka is desperate to find a boyfriend to watch the New Years Eve Countdown with. Nonoka runs into Naoya (who we find out she is coworkers with), who chuckles and tells her that she will never get a boyfriend. 

(Suteki na Kershi, Volume 1)

Naoya seems amused by Nonoka's dimwittedness when it comes to love, and the two form a strong friendship based on teasing, as well as a bit of mystery - as Naoya's aloofness makes him difficult to read. It doesn't help that Naoya doesn't seem to have any personal preferences; choosing to be "free" and let the wind guide him wherever it may blow, so to speak. 

(Suteki na Kareshi, Volume 1 Cover)

While Nonoka searches for a boyfriend, she slowly begins to fall in love with Naoya. However, she has no idea how Naoya feels about her once she realizes her feelings. After all, he's been in relationships before, even had a FIANCE at one point (which is revealed to be set up by their parents). And Naoya's reserved demeanor makes it even more difficult to know what he's truly feeling. 

How "Suteki na Kareshi" Captures Young Love Perfectly

One of the aspects of this shoujo that really stands out is how well it captures the lack of understanding many of us had when it comes to anything related to love during our teen years. Nonoka's thought processes perfectly mirror what I and others experienced at that age - overanalyzing every interaction TO DEATH. Every sentence, every gesture, every moment gone by without a text message or call. What does it all mean??? 

(Suteki na Kareshi, Volume 4)

So why in our teen years do we so heavily fixate on being in our ideal relationship? There are many reasons for this, and many psychologists agree that adolescence is typically shaped by a need to develop our unique identities and for those around us to understand who we are. Our individuality and relationships with our parents and peers influence one another quite a bit. From a biological standpoint, the need for a boyfriend can be linked to our survival instincts. It is at this time puberty begins, causing all sorts of hormonal changes within us - with many changes related to our sexual characteristics and needs. Along with this, the feeling of falling and being in love highly increases the dopamine count in our brain, which allows us to feel pleasure and happiness. Some sociological perspectives even argue that a young girl's desire for a boyfriend could stem from societal pressure and adhering to traditional gender roles.

Navigating love during high school is a complicated thing, as we are still learning about ourselves - who we are, what we like, and trying to figure out where we'll be going in the future. Nonoka's inner thoughts capture these confusing feelings so well that I almost felt like I was back in freshman year! Regardless of the reasons why we so desperately search for our one true love, I think most of us who have experienced this can understand how difficult it can be. Like in Suteki na Kareshi though, love often comes to you when you least expect it. 

Final Thoughts

My favorite panel from Suteki na Kareshi features our two main character's silhouettes, with some thoughts from Nonoka:

(Suteki na Kareshi, Volume 1)

"The thing I yearned for...wasn't a shape. It was the feelings." 

As Nonoka watches all those happy couples together on New Years, she realizes it's not really a boyfriend she wants...but rather that feeling of being in love and being geniunely cared for by another person. I won't spoil too much, but she does eventually learn how trivial just being in a relationship for relationship's sake is. This quote really stuck out to me because I came to the same realization after awhile - that just having a boyfriend isn't the thing I want; what I want is to be accepted for who I am and loved wholly by someone else. Preferably a someone else who I greatly admire and embrace completely as well.

Suteki na Kareshi is a great escape into the innocence of early adolescence, and the romance between Nonoka and Naoya feels authentic and fun. While this series does not have an official translation, I highly recommend checking it out if you can. It's an insightful piece on the complexities of teenage romance and the meaning of love. 💖